It’s strange that my thoughts immediately take me to this secret journal hidden from any prying eyes. But when it is no longer kept a secret, the truth of who I really am will finally be unveiled. It has been a difficult time to envision what seems bleak, in fact, I don’t see a future anymore. I pray and pray and my words are muffled through the clothes that I wear as I weep for something to end it all. I’m tired of trying to conceal what has for so long been a burden to me. There are so many expectations of me as a young person in such a “privileged” school. But I don’t feel privileged, I don’t feel like there is a point anymore. The truth is, I should be studying. Like a normal student. I should be improving on what I have failed so miserably, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore when my position at a school so competitive seems now, impossible. I don’t really understand the reason to live here, look for something here or just do anything here, when for ten long and hard years we’ve not made any progress at all. And no, I do not exaggerate on this statement. The truth is, things are so bad that even writing this entry makes me doubt when it will ever be published. If no-one will dare to speak of our troubles, I will. I must uphold my morals rooted from my faith, but it will shatter the family honour by breaking the silence. They may read it and say that I have committed a treachery in their eyes, but I will say that the truth finally had to be let out. Who were we concealing it from so long and why? When those people we tried to please were the same people who would abandon us when the opportunity arose, why did we work so hard to be such objects of acclamation when really, our lives were falling apart. My life was falling apart and now today, I write it with more assurance than ever.