THE FIRST OF ME: 2018

Here we are…here I am. And it took me this long! But I see it now, it’s glowing. It’s warm, it’s flowing down all over me and I can sense that I’m in paradise. I couldn’t get close as I did last time, I had to accept that it was a passing season. But this new chapter of my life, the empty pages I’ll fill with many words, many phrases and emotions. Makes me dazed. I don’t want it to stop, but I also want to take it slow. I’m okay if things fail, I’ve got God above watching. I see He alone cares, loves, and though I cannot love myself fully yet, I’ll learn. Because from the first chapter, to this page, I’ve grown a lot. Learnt a lot. And right now, I just don’t have the strength in me to feel hatred and sadness. I can’t. I simply can’t. I want to learn how to love others, to be kind. I’m sick and tired of giving up. The easy path eventually drains me and leaves me dry. I want life flowing through my veins, and I can’t take any more highs to get there. It took a long while to accept it, but I am reborn.

✾themeekarestillhere✾

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