Difference between me and my happiness,
All the shades of blue.
I dream of the one that is radiant,
That pierced and protected me.
But I lose myself in this darker shade,
Every single time, fearing what I may never get back.
And then forgetting the reality,
Of what I really need to survive,
Thinking I can when I really can’t.
Losing all strength, feeling dead,
Longing for something to end it all,
If not by my own design but of an external power.
This life with all its the draining power,
Of a shade of beautiful, burdensome blue,
Drains me, leaving dry bones,