For so long, for most of my life,
I’ve never truly accepted that it was tough,
To be on both sides, what I knew, what passed by,
And living each one of them, I would have expected to have found someone or something,
To deal with the misery I felt, the suffering but no one was there to understand or listen.
Terrified, not of death, but of life and its many horrors.
Scared crazy that I would live a life of regret, a laughing stock, humiliated.
I knew I lacked that spark, that fire everyone else had,
I mean it, I still don’t know who I am, but I am saved from myself, from my mystery self.