For so long, for most of my life, 

I’ve never truly accepted that it was tough,

To be on both sides, what I knew, what passed by, 

And living each one of them, I would have expected to have found someone or something, 

To deal with the misery I felt, the suffering but no one was there to understand or listen. 

Terrified, not of death, but of life and its many horrors. 

Scared crazy that I would live a life of regret, a laughing stock, humiliated. 

I knew I lacked that spark, that fire everyone else had, 

I mean it, I still don’t know who I am, but I am saved from myself, from my mystery self.