It’s coming back again,
For the second blow, but I know this,
And this time I’ll be gone before it can strike.
Because I’ve been through all of this,
I’ve told myself I’m the bad guy,
I’ve dealt with all these emotions,
And I longed for someone, some escape,
And when none came, I found prayer.
And I found my SAVIOUR. Up there,
A place I’ve never seen, imagined only.
It’ll hit me, eventually, the things I wish…to never admit.
Like that I’ll soon lose this vivacity, short-lived highs.
I’ll miss that blanket of bullets, my bullet blanket, so-called sweet enemy.
It’s easier now to let go of things, of people, emotions, tears, the world.
It’s easy to just float, wander and be a nomad.
My prayers eventually will be answered,
This new lesson of patience that I must learn,
As I am a different person now, changed.
In time, I will someone who understands in this world, priceless understanding exchanged.