SWEETNESS IN THE AIR

I didn’t find that song this year, but I went back to the ones I’d heard. I’ve been plagued by some invisible, malevolent voice in my head. And this year, I’ve walked down the wrong road, but now that I see the light, now that Summer is here, I hear more than just this voice. I hear the bells, and the wind is warmer. How cold I was before, and all the things I did wrong to try to save face. I’m glad though, this path made me stronger, fiercer and wild. And the beast inside of me, is as bold as it is kind and understanding. I pray every day, to silence this voice that I had been poisoned into believing was harmless, was my friend. You and I have this voice inside of us, and the step it takes to listen to the truth is one taken in faith, not blindness. I knew the truth, but I was afraid to believe it, to be exposed to everything that I was and my capabilities both bad and good. But I need this, because this path we walk on earth is so short, temporary and it will end. After I die, that path I walk is the path I will walk forever, and I don’t want to walk down this wide road of ignorance any longer. Afraid of how much we can go down, how much I can lose, I don’t want to lose anymore of me. There is still love, there is still sweetness in the air and my dreams still linger like this breeze I can feel against my cheek, it is almost still, but like me, it moves forward knowing that there is somewhere to go. Somewhere far ahead, there is my place, the place where I can rest, a place of peace that I have been believing in for so long. I have fallen, but by grace I am able to get there. And forgive me, that I am so inadequate for You…it is my prayer that I will make it even if I fail in every other part of my life.

themeekarestillhere

PHOTO CREDITS
ROSES FOR KIM BY ANNA ROSE BAIN