THE FIRST OF ME: 2019

“My story being done,

She gave me for my pains a world of sighs;

She swore, in faith ’twas strange, ’twas passing strange;

‘Twas pitiful. ’twas wondrous pitiful,

She wish’d she had not heard it, yet she wish’d

That heaven had made her such a man”

In this world, there is silent beauty. I pray that I can be the person that I want to be. Despite my failures, the bad things I’ve done, in my loneliness, I can still find happiness. I pray I can be great and wonderful. My mother, she’s always been generous, and I’ve always been afraid of not making everyone happy. Afraid of others, now I’m laughing, because I’m more afraid of myself now than what’s out there. I used to be that girl. She’s gone, and she is a broken gem. I still love that girl I used to be and the one I am now, well I’m learning to love her. I’m learning to love this truth, this bittersweet truth. Dear Lord, you are so good to me. I have no one, and You know that. I cannot be beautiful forever, I cannot be happy forever. I can be me though. In my undying love for those I know, who have seen and don’t know me. I have melodies that ring clear in the dead of night. And my dreams are vast and infinite and when they die, they burst like a supernova. I cannot be perfect…but the only thing I can always be is me.

God Bless and Happy New Year!

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