I can dream all I want, it feels like I’m forever alone, 

And I keep turning to something new, waiting for that which may never come, 

Numbing the horror of acknowledging that it just may be so, 

Looking at my blinding terror in the eye, 

Don’t expect sanity, you tortured my mind, 

And this time, I doubt if I can keep it together, 

I know I’m losing everything, when I can feel it crumbling away, 

Nothing sounds as gorgeous as the truth, 

When I look back, it wasn’t the places or things, it was me, 

And I’m not lying, everything was meant to happen the way it did, sadly, 

So now all I can do is cry beautiful tears of truth, only to cry them again.

I said, don’t cry we play with the lie till one day we forget and believe it to be truth,

And in some way, this is a sad comfort we have grown to accept and love, 

I have written my thoughts for everyone, for so many I know and who I wish knew me,

But losing the battle is sometimes better than conquering that which isn’t sweet in the end,

This winter is cold & lonely, I push everyone away, I must explain this darkness,

And they are all angry at me, but I can barely open my eyes, 

I am lost in some gaze, some nameless world, my painted world, paint-ed blue, 

Because the blue is sweet and cold, hot and cruel, blue and beautiful.