I never thought I could do this but I realise now I can, 

There is always the same question in my mind,

How much longer can I do this?

I wanted to be the best mind of my time.

Sometimes I feel like something so beautiful can scar you,

And it takes like what feels an eternity to recover, 

To be able to be as beautiful as the melody that takes you high,

And drops you mercilessly into cold reality, 

Like piercing raindrops in July. 

How can I compete with the imperfect perfection you model?

Cannot fight with tied hands, a willing prisoner, 

It will always take me back, it took me so long to realise,

But it’s not the places, or the people but the person I used to be,

The person I could never be and the way that this song made me feel,

How I’ll never be able to feel that way again is the saddest thing,

Something I am afraid to let go of. 

Cannot understand how nobody sees what I see, maybe I’m crazy, 

What would they say about my mind, impassioned for the world unknown, 

Swimming in the ambiguity that lies in my writing, 

Sleeping in the dreams that never come true,

Trying to reclaim those failed attempts at life, 

I had hoped someone would’ve held me together today,

I’m retreating and emerging, and I know this makes you mad,

I’m sorry I’m afraid of the broad daylight, and the grey skies still,

How can I ever tell you this to be the truth?


2 thoughts on “RAINDROPS IN JULY

  1. Your words capture feelings and experiences that are hard to define, and you do it beautifully. Sometimes seeing in print what before has only been a whisper of a feeling, that you were afraid to say aloud to yourself is real, is a part of breaking free. I think your poetry is a gift of that sort.