CHRYSALISM

CHRYSALISM

I used to love the rain and the colour grey was once peaceful to me. I used to be indestructible. I know the feeling of waking up at twilight and feeling like everything has slipped away from my grasp. I used to love everything about the world until the world showed me it couldn’t always love back. That’s the thing about the world, it’s not always ready to shine and over time it becomes harder for me to believe that I can shine again. I admit, the first year I was on cloud nine and I never thought that sadness could dampen my happiness. It did. I learnt that it’s hard to trust myself and my mind. Once a mirror shatters, doesn’t matter if we piece it bit by bit…it’s impossible to look at my reflection the same again. And so, it’s impossible to return to the girl I was once. Perhaps, this is the way I’m meant to move forward but these periods of loneliness seem to be coloured grey and rays of sunshine are rare even in spring. I will have to let go of the child that I am in a week. I will move from a girl to a woman. And the woman that I become will be a myriad of the shards of my past, my present and the shards that will reform in the future that is to come. And so, I will never look at a thunderstorm with the love in my eyes and the fire in my heart that was once there. But, I am hoping that one day I will return to my golden fire. 

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