I’ve not yet been able to make sense of my happiness, that is foreign to me like a feeling I’ve never known. 

My happiness dances around me, a picture of the words I’ve never said and the smiles I’ve avoided.

They are movie stars and I have loved them all at one point. 

I will have to say goodbye to every scene I’ve watched, I knew this day would come. 

I told myself trust no one, open yourself up to no one, 

This wound is unavoidable, am I afraid to feel?

I set myself up for something I know I’ll never be. 

I will never forgive myself for something no one here knows about. 

But I’ve touched kindness and it has touched me back. 

I have known the allure of life…it is a red rose. 

I will have to watch myself bloom around him & die inside. 

Life hurts, life is feeling, and life is inescapably beautiful.

Life is terrifying. 

I am alone and sometimes I want to be, but really, I am beyond the dark seas. 

Will I ever be the same again?