I’m telling you we need to go back if we can go forward.
The world outside keeps walking ahead, but I’m drifting behind.
And in my mind, I always ask why and what is the meaning behind all this.
Wondering if remaining numb was the right choice to escape the decisions I made,
And if perhaps this year could have ended sweeter, if I had a hand to hold.
I tell myself, go back, I can never step into this void.
They are happy in a void, but I cannot die not knowing what this meant.
Many of the things I find happy, people don’t understand.
My happiness is a joke to them, and I have to laugh too.
But I am sick of this laughter, this pretend joy.
Only hoping that in the near future, I won’t be tied to my many selves.
And that in going back, I can emerge brand new.
Removed of all my sins, my scars, my many sorrows.