How far we dream is how far we want to escape. The most dangerous game I’ve played is breaking free from the pattern. Because if I’m meant to be smiling now, if I really am following suit, then all this worry is meaningless. But if I’m straying from the finale and instead, building my own climax, then I suppose this fear is real. Incredibly frightening.
I’m too delicate to my emotions. Home does that to me. Because I suppose I am so desperate for a father’s love, I’m running down the wrong roads. They lead to dead ends. I still hold my affections as true, passionate and wild. Living two worlds and still unable to get the best in either of them. My heart bleeds when I cannot control the universal pain, the emptied souls & the red flames of hell. I know you could never understand. Even love makes me look back and not forward.
Sometimes I think you never had to look back, you’re so elusive that you don’t have a shadow. I have made a mistake to think you could be captured, you were born to escape and me to dream of you. You don’t know how much I want it, I never knew I needed to escape until I met you. But perhaps you’re a great deception which only makes the happiness I feel, tainted.
I could do it now, every night is my night, and I could so easily run away. What are a few steps that never end? But home is bittersweet and you try to make me think I don’t have an origin but I desire to make my mark on the world. Will I give up my sins? Will I control my words? Will my mind see that you’re a clown & my glorification only a joke?
Yes, I have broken free from the pattern and paid the price many times, but though everyone hurls so many chains at me, I won’t fight but sink. I won’t give them the attention they want. I make my own escape, I find my own freedom and I live the way I dream.