FRACTURED

Sometimes it gets all too much, I wonder why GOD could love us, all so blinded to sin, wading in sin. Can someone go so far? Can someone be so depraved? Why is it that in my time of inadequacy I have to be plagued with an inescapable feeling of sadness? I know that this is the world. Yet somehow I hadn’t felt it until now, the emotions of others who have lost their glow. Sometimes we open our hearts blindly, thinking that all that is in the world is good. But it’s not. Like moths to a flame they come; the glow remorselessly robbed from us. I would think from all the pain I feel, do I not deserve some recognition? Do I not get the chance to make someone proud? Or am I forever spent in my efforts to fly. This is the world I’m living in: fractured. Only at times do I experience the warmth that emanates from glimpses of heaven. But there are so many fractures, how could my human mind try to understand that despite all my failures in life, I am still deserving of love? What did we do to deserve the power of hope? I try and try to distance myself from my frailties, but when I fail I submit to the realisation that if I am not careful, I too can be the criminal. I see things and feel them with greater sensitivity, and whether or not this is my weakness, each feeling opens me up to a greater truth beyond the crevices. It seems in this fractured we can pass through these crevices hoping to find something everlasting on the other side. But it all effort is in vain for the time we spend on earth, every second has a meaning and cannot so easily be controlled by our own will. I wonder, if ever, I’ll understand that meaning. I am growing more and more lonely, distanced from the people I know will offer me further pain. Yet pain seems inescapable. I feel sadness as I see others hurt, yet when others hurt me am I not quick to play the sinner. Among the many depictions of pain, the confusion is what seems to cause the greatest fractures in this world. The confusion that sometimes translates to hate and causes me to despise the world and my place in it. But I know who I want to be and she will swim past the sea of fractures.

✾themeekarestillhere✾

PHOTO CREDITS
FRAGMENTED SEA BY JAMES W JOHNSON