I keep seeing you amidst the faces of strangers,
I hope that this sign of my loneliness will end,
And that I won’t be searching for a pleasure I may never have,
It always seems like it’s a roll of a dice,
But I am always the one to lose.
My stare may be hostile but it only echoes the yearnings inside,
Yearnings that are true, resonant and possibilities…
I may jump anywhere to get what I want,
Loneliness is mortal but nature has been granted immortality.
To be spared the sensations of life, is it worth it?
That’s the new kinda girl I’ve become just when you’re not here to see me.
But my words are magnetic and they have stuck to you,
Just like all the people in my life that have been mesmerised by my madness,
I’ve made them all laugh, I’ve made them think and I’ve made them realise,
That I’m not just one person, my soul is ever-changing, ever young.
I just hope that your absence doesn’t rob me of my shine,
I am praying that I don’t do something silly, only because my dreams of you were silly.
I just wanted to sing for my father,
I wanted to make my mother weep tears of joy,
When she could say in honesty, that is my daughter.
And not the one she placed her false hope in,
I wanted my sister to understand that I am hurting beyond belief,
Not to laugh at me but simply just understand and leave my broken self to mend alone.
I hope that one day I will sing a song that will surpass all these stones thrown at me,
That my madness is beautiful, that I am a broken star that only shines the more brighter,
And that despite my mood like the waves on a beach, I will eventually make it past the golden gates,
To a life beyond the pain of this world where my questions are greeted in sweet symphonies.
Call me a criminal, a thief, call me the beggar on the street,
Laugh at me, cry for me, don’t ever say you’ll die for me,
For then I know your love is weak.
Only listen to my song and tell me,
In honesty, with no fancy words or teasing smiles,
I will listen to you, I will understand you, I will share this load.