CRY TO FLY
I may be so young to not know anything with my small mind, but I feel so much.
Take me to my hometown a hundred times, but as soon as I leave,
I have to write and watch and pretend like I’m one of them to believe that it was all real.
My skin is not smooth like cream, I have damaged my body to understand what it is to be invisible,
Because when your beauty disappears, you see people for what they really are.
They think I didn’t have to do this, but my purpose lies far beyond their mundane expectations.
Wild, they do not understand the freedom a single word offers and yet I lie to myself,
Can I really take something so extravagant and is my heart prepared for such a thrill?
It will awaken my dry bones & reveal the words inside when my emotions are rising high.
None of this means anything, they will all pass.
I doubt that I can allow myself the luxury of living in two worlds and ignore the pain that comes with this burden.
But everything has been a game up till this point and everyone who calls me mean forgot that I already jumped over that hurdle.
What remains is the music that we listen to when we’re sad but should even in happiness.
How do I make the moments of pure euphoria turn gold?
Or do I have to accept that happiness flies away and comes back when I am patient?
It seems that only in moments of acceptance of our flaws do we receive this irreplaceable gift.
I have learnt what life is like for the pauper and the prince, but how will my story end?
I only want to help others and reduce the pain in the world but am I right with myself?
Truly performing good deeds requires integrity but there are breakdowns when I feel my past is too tainted for it to be true.
How can I say I am returning home when I do not love where I live?
I never got to say goodbye properly and I held back the tears for my grandmother like I was holding onto dear life, but I wanted to cry.
This first world only deepens the pain, let’s see how far I go and how long I’ll be able to take it.