You do not know how to let go of what happened.
They didn’t teach you that you could live it all again.
But it only made each feeling stronger, the good and the bad.
You are afraid that you will get bored of it and lose your love.
But you know deep down that you underestimate this capacity.
You were made to love everything, like you fall in love so easily.
I used to think your curse was that you easily forgave and painfully remembered.
Now I know deep down this façade of that sad girl isn’t what you wanted to be.
Your life really began with your first memory at five…
It wouldn’t have hurt me if you told me to want something in life & want it now.
Those dreams of those infinite tomorrows are beginning to turn into nightmares.
It’s not like I don’t want to dream like I used to, but those days have passed.
The power of youth will surpass the power my friends dream about.
We’ll never be as glamorous, as heroic, as great as we were then.
But at least it happened, let’s become the heroes the world needs now.
That means take those flowers from your hair and lift your face to the stars.
Beautiful women in the world, why do you doubt God-given excellence?
We’re closer to heaven this way if we close our eyes tight.
Your smile has never been dampened by the the sky’s tears.
She’s just a character, I know that, but I still want something to love.
So you listen and look at everyone and everything and fall in love too easy.
Eyes quiver with violent fear and wonder of what you may have to immolate into experience.
Some force of the mind that like a ghost taunts and terrorises me to soft surrender.
Like the parent I never had, it offers me a guiding hand feeding on my sugary delight.
Yet upon acceptance I watch with perfect sadness as joy dissolves into shiny nothings.
Yet with eyes shut tight do I hope it will return into my life…and it does.
Mesmerising sensation that demands I both hold on to and relinquish memories like shiny nothings.